Miss Barlnk Rumer.

I got my horse assignment on Tuesday.  She’s a three year old, halter-bred paint mare named Penny.

Ears not up, but still a cute picture :)

The first day all we did was walk around the arena to see how she behaved, get her out, check her leading skills.  She was good, for the most part.  A little looky and a little pushy and a little fresh, but good, overall.  I went back later and worked on lateral flexion from the ground in the stall, handled her whole body with the stick and string and my hands.  Picked up all four feet, lifted her tail.  She could give a damn, really.  She’s pretty relaxed.

Wednesday I sacked her out in the stall, groomed her head to foot, messed about with her ears, put all my saddle pads and blankets on her, flopped the saddle around by her.  She’s very inquisitive, but a little aggressive.  She seems to get more frustrated than frightened.  We also lunged in the arena first, which was different from last year when they shoved us out into the round pens right away.  I always thought that was a little odd, especially with the construction going on last year.  Anyway.  She’s lunged before, being that she’s showed and has halter points, but she’s not the greatest at it.  She understands that she needs to move forward on a circle, but when we switch directions she always wants to run over top of me, so that’s something I’m working on.  Also, I’m going to put a dead-stop “woah” on this horse if it’s the last thing I do.  I want her to plant those feet the instant I say “woah”.  For sure.

Today we were out in the roundpens the first time and she did just fine.  Sacked her out out there with a feed sack and saddle pad, worked on some more flexion, set her loose and joined up, which is always fun.  The knowledge that they want to come to you and be near you is very thrilling.

I feel like I’m kind of wasting time though.  She’s ready to be saddled.  I want to push this year.  Last year I took my time too much and this year I’m ready and they’re not letting me go, lol.

My head hurts pretty badly right now, so I’m not too interested in elaborating at the moment…I’m really suffering from these allergies.  They’re killin’ me.  The barn would be a joy right now if it weren’t for that.

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Back to School.

I left a little bit late yesterday morning.  Only about an hour…I still ended up here by about noon.  Ally, my new housemate, and Nisha helped me carry some stuff in from the car, while Sarah H just sat on the couch, rudely, as usual.

I miss Annie.  She’s not coming this semester…Loan issues.  I’m really sad.  On the other hand, I ran into Sam C, Sarah S, and Jenny R, who are supposed to be Annie’s housemates, and my old friends from the barn.  They pretty much attacked me :) It was super nice.  They said they missed me, hehe.  Lots of hugs.  One thing I love about being at school.  Lots and lots of hugs.

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Vows and Farewells.

Nicole’s wedding was beautiful.  Short and sweet.  Very small.  White folding chairs in a white tent with a small altar with large red bouquets at left, right, and center.  Josh was all nervous and looked so moved when she walked into the room.  That soft, warm smile.  I hope someone looks at me like that someday.  Bridesmaids looked really pretty :) Short black dresses and small shrugs with red sashes and Nicole’s dress matched, but white with a black sash.  And the cake matched too.  White tiers with black bands and fondant ribbons.

Hung out with Rachel and Brian and Matt and Matt’s girlfriend, Liz, the Weber Grill girl, who turned out to be very, very sweet.  Dinner was absolutely amazing.  Uncle Kenny was an obnoxious douchebag, as always.  This Hispanic woman came to exchange Mark’s champagne for sparkling juice and Uncle Ken proceeded to loudly complain about “damn Mexicans” for the next few minutes until I told him to shut up.  I’m absolutely tired of listening to that guy.  Other than that, it was pretty fun.  Beautiful and very nice.  I desperately hope that they’re happy for a long, long time.  They seem good together :)

I finished packing and am all set to leave early tomorrow morning.  Mary came over a bit ago to say bye and was all upset that I’m leaving :( We had a nice, sappy “I love you” moment and hugged and stuff.  I’m gonna miss her a tonnn.

I should’ve been sleeping hours ago.  So, goodnight!  Wish me luck driving tomorrow, lol.

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Keetra Dean Dixon, Post-Its, and Validation.

Here are my two favorite YouTube videos.  The first one is very short and sweet.  The second is a bit of a time commitment, but well worth it…I cry every time I watch it, but I am also sincerely uplifted by it.  Kurt Kuenne is a genius.

Keetra Dean Dixon is a peddler of wonderment and alternative thinking.  From her Photobooth to her Anonymous Hugging Wall to her Cordially Invited cards, the main goal of her work is to “instill wonder in the daily routine”.  Make people stop and think and pay closer attention to the world they live in.  Be sure to click for full view.

One of my favorite elements of her pieces is a bit in which she gives voice to personifications of inanimate objects.  Soothing messages.  Common phrases.  The psuedo-intimate, greeting-card-esque sayings.  “Everything will be okay“.  “You’re all I think about too“.

Behind the cut is my favorite of her photo sets.  Plus the absolute coolest pillow you’ve ever seen.

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Woah, Nellie.

I got a new baby corn snake today :) She is about 10 inches long and was born on July 11th. Her name is Nellie.

So tiny!

She's a butter corn snake and will become progressively lighter yellow as she ages. Click this image to see an adult butter corn snake.

Lookit herrr. Isn't she cute? :)

I had such a good day today.  Mary and I got up early and went to the All-Animal Expo (previously Lee Watson’s Reptile Swap) in Wheaton and I got Nellie for $35 :O And then we came home, relaxed a bit, got her settled in, and then took off for the city.  Visited with Gramma D for a while and soaked up some of her quirky wisdom.  Went upstairs to our future apartment and just envisioned what it will be like next summer…Picked who’s going to have which bedroom…etc, etc.  It was amazing.  I can’t wait for next summer.  Then we went to Gramma Slota’s and hung out, had some serious girl talk and played with each other’s hair like when we were kids, and then had a delicious roast beef dinner that my gramma made for us.  Sooo yummy.  And I got to watch her make her super amazing gravy.  :D  Yay!  Now I know the secret, hehe.  It was just such a good day for us.  We got lost on the way home, but found our way easily, which we were proud of.  It’s gonna be so nice to get out on our own for good next summer :) I just hope I can find a job out there…

Anyway, I gotta go give Jinx some lovin’.  He’s been neglected today ’cause of his new baby sister.  Poor guy!

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The New Bottoming Book.

I’ve just finished reading The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.  Absolutely…wonderful.  It’s helped me to turn inward and think about things in solid ways, where I’ve just thought about them before as the wisps of a feeling or sensation or idea.

How I feel when I submit: serene, calm, relaxed, right, comfortable, complacent, cared for, compliant, eager to please, hazy, unfocused, content, beautiful, lustful, safe, secure, receptive, hot, floaty, passive, carefree, appreciated, passionate, accomplished.

Afterward: Super sleepy, drifty, weak, distant, vulnerable, then cuddly and giggly.

Limits: Tickling, blood, scat, feet, genital sex, in-scene punishment/discipline, kissing on the mouth.  (Still working on this one.)

Favorite quote: “We bottom in order to go to places within ourselves and with our partners that we cannot get to without a top.

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Playdate!

Holy molies!  So, I have my first ever premeditated playdate with people I met from the munch…M and S (not to be confused with S&M…muahaha), the first people who ever shared a hookah with me, have invited me to come to their house and have some kinky, dirty fun.  And maybe go out to dinner after! :) I’m infinitely flattered, considerably shocked, and incredibly excited.  We’re not certain of the exact date and time yet, but as I’m leaving in less than two weeks, we’re hard pressed to get that settled.

I’ll be posting here about the experience afterward, as always, but sadly for you folks, it’ll be a private entry ;) Some parts of this journal (and this journey) are purely and simply for me.

Wish me luck!

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Green Links

Here’s a whole mess of links from this book I just finished reading, The Lazy Environmentalist on a Budget by Josh Dorfman.  I highly recommend it, if you have any semblance of a heart and give a damn about the planet.  Or if you just want to save yourself a fairly large amount of money, whether you care about the earth or not.

Click to see the list ;)

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Stuff for School

• Violin
• Bag of music
• Shower rack
• DS and games
• DVDs
• TV
• Jinx and ?
• Saddle and bridles
• Box of cooking stuff
• Pillows
• Cookbooks
• Garbage bags of clothes
• Plastic drawers
• Camera bag
• Laptop
• Sarah’s Twilight book
• Fans
• Keyboard for freecycle
• Knitting stuff
• Bike
• Soft sided car top carrier for clothes
• Books
• Shower/makeup/hygiene stuff

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Ancient History.

So, I’m cleaning my room and trying to empty everything out and clean it up and get rid of the things I don’t need or really want.  And it’s like going through my childhood, page by page, item by item.  I’d been keeping journals forever.  Since I was really little.  I’m throwing away pages of angsty pre-teen poetry and written accounts of the torture my family’s put me through for my whole life.  I just finished two pages on a situation from back in high school where my mom couldn’t handle disciplining Brian, as always, and I predicted the very downward spiral that has now taken place.  God, I’m good.  The second page also mentions how they treated me like dirt and I got in trouble over the silliest, tiniest things, because they didn’t know anything worse.  How I wondered how much worse it would be if I drank or did drugs.  Now I see I could have gotten away with it, just like Brian does now.

When I was younger it was just stories about all the fights and punishments that didn’t fit the crime and poems about escaping.  As I got older, the writing became more eloquent and almost artful, even when I was furious.  And, still, I was also writing about hoping to leave on good terms.  Why do I always forgive them?  Here are some nice little snippets.

“I will have a life someday and a family.  My kids will be happy and they will love and be loved and never, ever feel like they don’t have a future.  And they will never cry themselves into sickness or sleep.”

“Is this normal?  Is everyone miserable like this and they just look away?  I want to puke, but I hold it down because I don’t want anyone to see what’s inside of me.”

“You just always remember.  When you get scared to walk out that door, when you feel afraid to be out on your own…Remember what it felt like to lie in bed and listen to them scream and swear and call you names.”

I used to write stories about graduation.  About how it would feel to be eighteen and done with school and not tied to anything.  About moving out.  I did that from about the fifth grade onward.  Should I write a book about this shit?  It’s what I know.  They always say that, “write what you know”.

Heh…I’m sitting here typing this out and my mom keeps barging in my room to bitch at me and it feels just the same as it always did.

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