Lexical Constellations

This blog is a record of my life and my thoughts. It’s a notepad, a journal, and a scrapbook. A lifelong letter to myself.

Weird Dream.

Well, my real life has been fairly boring lately.  Repetetive.  But I had a really crazy dream last night.  First, we were playing softball on the JV field and there was a bad storm coming.  The sky was practically black.  So, I was rushing to get all my stuff packed up and my bag was stuck to the fence.  Someone helped me get it off and we ran back towards the school.  I can’t remember a whole bunch afer that.  But then a really, really funny part happened, lmao.  We were hiding in the gym while a big, fucking tornado came through (Why is it always tornados?) and then it kinda mellowed out and I really had to pee.  So, I got up and followed some girl into the bathroom.  Turned out it was the men’s bathroom.  And I wasn’t wearing any shoes.  Which was disturbing enough.  But then there was this really cute guy watching me and I went into a stall, but I slipped on the floor and fell right on my ass with him watching.  LOL  And then he offered to walk me out of the bathroom so I didn’t hurt myself again.  What the heck?  And then…He wrote me a letter and it was really nice, but I had to leave, so I went to a dock to find my car that I left tied up there.  Apparently it was like an amphibious car.  But it wasn’t there.  And then a shark came.  And I almost fell off the dock.  But the dude showed up and saved my ass and he helped me find my car/boat.  And then I woke up.

Isn’t that ridiculous?

Filed under: Uncategorized

Storms and Heat Stroke.

I’m having the shittiest string of days.

Yesterday, there were horrible storms and torrential downpour all day long.  I had work, which entails driving to a few different locations and walking or (in this case) feeding and caring for people’s dogs.  I drove to Izzie’s, fed her, left a note for Kathy, the other sitter.  Then I drove to Jeanine’s to feed and hang out with Murphy, Sorsha, and Molly.  I was running back out to my car through rain that had me soaked to the bone three steps out the door and my cell phone fell out of my pocket.  I didn’t notice it missing until I was in the car and about five minutes down Schaumburg Road.  I turned around and ran back, used Jeanine’s house phone to call myself…Checked the house, checked the car…Finally, I found it.  Completely submerged in a puddle of rainwater at the edge of the sidewalk.  Still on.  I shut it off, I got back in the car, I took the battery out…It’s still working, two days later.  After sitting in a puddle for at least ten minutes!  Fucking crazy.

That same day, my car wouldn’t start.  Charlotte is not in good condition.  It may or may not have something to do with the fucking enormous pothole I hit when I was on the way to the munch on Thursday.  Fucking city streets.  Seriously, I thought I had blown out a tire.  It was bad.  But anyway.  Dad said the “Service Engine” light is on, which is just all kinds of bad news…*sighs*  I can’t afford this shit.

Today was the icing on the cake, though…I was walking Murphy, Sorsha, and Molly when Sorsha went down on me…Legs shaking, couldn’t get up.  Panting like mad.  Heat stroke.  Thankfully, this family was behind me on bikes…The woman got off, rushed over, gave her some of her water bottle…I left her with the lady while I ran Murphy and Molly home and got my car.  When I got back, there was a cop car pulling up and a crowd of people around her.  Someone had brought bags of ice to try to cool her down.  We got her into the back of the suburban and I followed the officer to the animal hospital.  He was kind of a dick.  And didn’t really seem to appreciate the urgency.  I mean, he coulda turned on his lights and cleared traffic for me like they do in the movies, right?  He didn’t.  And then when we got in there I thanked him and he was like “Oh, we’re not done yet.” And had me write down contact info for me and Jeanine.  While my hands were still shaking and I was trying to stop crying.  I was fine until I had to call Joe, my boss.  Once I had to talk, I broke down and bawled my eyes out.  Anyway.  They wheeled her into the animal hospital on a gurney.  They gave her an ice water bath, got her temperature down.  Joe was there and his wife, Michelle, and two other sitters, Kathy and Deanne.  Joe kept telling me how great I did.  How terrific and wonderful I am.  I didn’t feel so great, honestly.  I felt like shit.  She’s spending the night there.  Deanne told me to go home and have a drink.  Told me to go into the basement and have a shot.  She’s good friends with Jeanine, so…I did.  Funny how something like that can take the edge off, isn’t it?

I wish I had gotten that woman’s name.  The one on the bike.  I would go see her and give her hugs and chocolate and flowers and thank her a thousand times over.  I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.

If this dog dies, I will never forgive myself.

Filed under: Uncategorized

A Season for Nonviolence.

Well, I’m going to try to do this.  Because I feel like I need something to do with my time and something to occupy my thoughts since this new job is pretty much…Me doing nothing, just in a different location.  It’s called A Season for Nonviolence.  A memorial for Mahatma Ghandi and Martin Luther King and daily reminder for all of us.  I know it’s not actually the right time of year for this, but I figured it’d be nice to try to have at least one of those things in my head on a daily basis.

Starting today.  “#1: Today, I will reflect on what peace means to me.”

I have a friend, Orion, who I write letters back and forth with.  He always signs it, not “Sincerely” or “Love”, but…”Peace, Orion”.  Peace.  Peace can be defined on many, many levels.  To me, it means a state of quiet and comfort.  Acceptance of yourself.  Freedom.  Happiness.  Harmony.

I wish there would be peace in my parents’ house.  Especially since I’m living there now.  I don’t even want to get into the shit with my brother.  They forgave him.  My dad called me today and told me that they’re letting him start over.  They’re giving him another chance.  I knew it.  I fucking knew it.

Okay.  Peace, lol.  I’m supposed to let it go.  I can’t let that go.  But I can let go of nosing into it.  Right?  …Riiiight?

I hope that my home is peaceful in the future…My family, my interior decor, my whole state of mind.  I want a nice, peaceful, welcoming home. Someday.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Idiot’s Dishcloth.

It’s been a weird few days.  I’ve had assignments like crazy, so I’ve been working and spending the night at other peoples’ houses with their dogs.  It’s kinda surreal to be so in the middle of another person’s life.  Their bedrooms, their beds, their kitchens, their dishes, their televisions, their DVDs.  I’ve watched three whole seasons of “Sex and the City”, lol!  And…I knitted a dishcloth.  How weird is that?

It’s old, smoky-smelling thrift store yarn that’s the color of Oscar the Grouch. The pattern is the “Idiot’s Dishcloth”, which is allll over the place on the net. I found mine at Groovy Mom.  I used size six needles.

Just the corner started :)

Just the corner started :)

Heres the finished product! Ta-daaa!

Here's the finished product! Ta-daaa!

In other news, I made business cards!  Free ones, from VistaPrint.com.

My pretty new business cards. The website is under construction.

My pretty new business cards. The website is under construction.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Munch #3.

Toby was an absolute doll.  He was kinda jumpy and pushy and he could damn well use those vicious nails clipped, but he was great to walk.  Kinda hauled my ass along and kept the pace up, but didn’t drag or pull really hard.  His owner came home early, so I don’t get to walk him tomorrow at all :( I’m kinda sad!  I hope I see him again.

Lookit immm! Fluffyface!

Lookit 'immm! Fluffyface!

In other news.  I went to my third munch tonight and it was a *roaring* success, I must say. Met Jenny, Jordana,  Sean, Matt, Larry, David #2, and Paul.  Also saw David and Vi, Jason, Rafael, and Darcy again.  Gave Vi my money for the play party on July 11th.  David tied me to the table leg with thin blue nylon rope and knots that tightened the rope on my wrists if I tugged ‘em.  So, of course, I had to tug ‘em.  Talked a lot with Sean and Jenny all night.  Both fantastic people.  Jenny was hilarious and gave me a ton of great tips and information and insight into the scene around here.  Lots of free educational events, which creepy guys to stay away from, about a 10-1 sub/Dom ratio, which sucks.  Anyway, just to help my memory…Jordana likes hoods.  Sean texted people while my hands were tied and watched the NBA Finals with me.  Matt shaved his beard off after six years of growing it, but I just met him today, so I have nothing to compare to.  Larry was a redhead with glasses…Didn’t talk to him much.  David #2 is cute, but didn’t say a single word to me after we said our polite hellos and introduced ourselves.  Sean and Jenny were definitely the highlight of the evening.  Oh, and the rope to the table leg.  ;)  I had a blast.  Didn’t leave til 11:30. Had the hot chocolate.  Deeelicious.

Can’t wait till next week.

P.S. Tomorrow is my first overnight assignment.  Murphy, Sorsha, and Molly.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Consultations.

Today I went to three consultations for my new job.

First I met Lauren and her American Hairless Terrier, Izzie.  An allergy-ridden, heavily medicated, high maintenance two year old with irritable bowel syndrome, who’s super shy and wears t-shirts and jackets outside when it’s chilly.  The woman was super nice, but really, really anal and crazy.  She made us a fifteen page binder of instructions on everything from watering the houseplants to Izzie’s life story and medical history, complete with pictures.

Heres Izzie!

Here's Izzie!

After that I went to a garden center and hung out and looked at all the pretty flowers and tried to commit them to memory. I wanna be able to identify a few, lol.  I think I got some new ones down :) Then I went to Caribou Coffee for a bit and went on my computer.

Then I went to Jeanine’s and met Murphy, Sorsha, and Molly. Murphy, a bit overweight chocolate labrador with a thyroid problem and a bottomless pit for a stomach.  Molly is a little black terrier mix, really, really high energy and craaazy.  Kind of like Bo, lol.  Sorsha…Indescribeable.  Seriously.  Beautiful old greyhound.  Totally sweet and clingy and attached herself to me right away.  Incredible gorgeous dog.  I fell in love with her right off the bat.  I’m so excited about them…It’s a little sad because I may or may not ever see them again after Friday night, yaknow?  I’m gonna take a lottt of pictures.

Finally, I went to meet Deanne who walks Toby, a big, fluffy Siberian Husky, supposedly.  I think he looks more like an Alaskan Malamute, but that’s just me…Deanne is totally sweet and hilarious.  And Toby was wonderful.  Kind of a puller, but he settled down after a bit.  I’m really looking forward to hanging out with him tomorrow :)

Toby!  Isnt he the freaking cutest?

Toby! Isn't he the freaking cutest?

Toby’s the first one I’m working with.  Tomorrow, 8AM and 5:30PM, before I go to the munch downtown.  Then, Friday…Toby again at the same times and also spending the night with Murphy, Sorsha, and Molly before leaving for the cabin with my parents and the Hattas on Saturday.

Oh, also, I ordered business cards for my pet photography business and I’m starting work on a website.  I figure I’ll be meeting a lot of people who are exactly in the market that I want to get in touch with.  Crazy, pet-loving people who have money to spend on their animals, lol.  I think I’m going to print out a nice picture of the dog and leave it with their Fetch! report card and a business card of my own.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Hired!

I got the job at Fetch!  I’m so excited.  The guy, Joe Z, was really nice.  Seems like a fun boss.  People who genuinely love animals are generally good people in my experience.  Training tomorrow with a girl named Katie at the Caribou Coffee in Schaumburg.  My mom lost my car key and my key chains from Spain, London, and my 2007 one, too.  I’m so pissed.  Not to mention she completely screwed me this morning.  I had to wear jeans to my interview because I couldn’t get into my car to get my nice pants.  And I had to drive the suburban, which is always a horrible experience since it brakes like shit, gobbles up the gas, and has no air conditioning.  She still hasn’t found them, so now she has to come back from work tomorrow, pick me up, and drive me to training before going back to work.  Dumbass.

I’m probably going to have to have a new key made all together…And I’m upset about losing those keychains :( I was really attached to them, damnit.  I’d better have a new key by Thursday…I have to go to that munch.  It’s the one thing I’m really looking forward to this week.

I hate when people lose/break/damage my shit…After I get a new key, she is never, never touching it again.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Brian.

I don’t think I’ve written about this yet.

My brother is out of control.

I don’t feel like re-telling this story again.  Even to this blog.  But, in short, last night Brian stole $1000 from my parents, got in a physical fight with my dad on the front lawn, and then took off, around 4:15AM.  My dad says he’s changing the locks and they’re not paying for college for him or helping him with anything from here on out.  My mom stayed home from work and blubbered and sniveled all day long.

This is what happens when you don’t discipline your child and you baby him his entire life.

I love the kid, but he’s fucked up.  I want to be his friend, I really do.  But…I desperately hope he gets what he deserves.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Job Interview.

I have a job interview on Monday at 10:30AM with Fetch! Pet Care…I’m excited.  I have a good feeling about it.  And it’ll be a really, really fun job if I get it.  I just wish Monday was here now.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Milk and Cookies.

I just came back from Taylor’s Milk and Cookies party…really early.  Charlene was there, Olivia, Amy, Taylor and Sam…Nergal, Pedro, Kyle Y, Sugi, Sarah E…All that crowd.  And I was just…not in the mood for it.  I have nothing in common with these people anymore.  We’re not friends.  Why do we continue to have these gatherings?  We don’t even like each other.  It’s nice to see them for about five seconds and then I just start to feel left out.  They’ve all been here.  They’ve all stayed friends.  I’m out of touch.  And I’m not sure I necessarily want to be in touch.  I’ve moved on.

Anyway, Sam, Amy, Charlene, and Olivia are going to the Invisible Children event in D.C. at the end of this month…I can’t go.  I can’t afford it.  I can’t afford to fly or drive out there…I can’t afford a hotel.  I can’t afford the pass to get into How It Ends. And now that I’m thinking about it, I act like I want to go so badly…And part of me does.  Part of me wants to be there and be the activist I want to be and photograph a nation rising up and taking a stand against injustice, death, and war.  And the other part says that I would hate it.  Being around all those people, being on a schedule, listening to speakers, and spending hours on end with Sam and C/A/O in a car and…I don’t know…I’m just tired of being the third wheel.  Or..fifth wheel.  As the case may be.

But another part of me hates to be missing out…Making a difference.  Making trips across country.  Making memories with friends.  This is what college is about.  Or it was, at some point.  And I’m missing it.

Filed under: Uncategorized

 

June 2009
M T W T F S S
« May   Jul »
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930  

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 1,453 hits

Pages